the bumper sticker, part deux

i found out what happened to it.  my [mischievous and apolitical] sister decided to mess with my [bleeding heart liberal] sensibilities and relocate it to the bumper of my [much more conservative] mother's spare truck.

i should have been tipped off when i first discovered the missing sticker and called my sister to vent, and her response (instead of an empathetically outraged, "OH MY GOD!  WHO WOULD DO THAT?!?!?!") was, "hmmmmmm!"

duh.

at the time i was too irritated to pick up on it, but it should have been obvious since this sort of thing happens in our family approximately every four novembers.  without naming names, the last election a bush/cheney sticker was slapped on the bumper of my car during dinner, there was sneaking into private parking garages to politicize the unattended vehicles of certain persons, and serious discussion of renting a donkey.  

and i kind of started it this year when i snuck a "grandparents for obama" pin onto my mom's purse that she didn't discover for three days.

at least now i can stop being angry about it, because the sticker's fate is much more palatable to me than the image of some [edited for content] republican ripping it off the back of my car.

"ocean: a body of water occupying two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills."

-ambrose bierce

i share my birthday with ambrose bierce, by the way.

oh, dude, guys, i am drowning in water. seriously. i am retaining it like nobody's business. it's like nothing i've ever seen before. the women in my office can not stop commenting on the size of my legs/ankles/feet at the end of every day, and i can't blame them. i'm down to one pair of shoes that i can fit into, plus flip flops, and all my doctor can tell me to do is drink more water. i'm already drinking 100 oz a day per his instructions. of WATER! i HATE WATER!

i hope the next few weeks go quickly.

i will be 33 weeks along on sunday; at the end of 36 weeks i will be considered full term. due dates are set at 40 weeks, but i seriously cannot imagine going all the way to 40 weeks. my official "40 week" due date is september 7. i feel sure that she will be born in august.

i was really hoping that she'd be born after september 1, because that's the cut-off date for school enrollment and that way she'd be the oldest in her class rather than the youngest. and also, i vastly prefer the month of september to the month of august for a litany of reasons that i won't delve into here.

work has gotten absolutely insane lately, things that don't even bear repeating. suffice it to say that i'm not getting enough sleep, and it's not because i'm pregnant, and i fielded three phone calls between 10:00 p.m. and midnight last night from my boss. i was so exhausted when i left work last night that i stood up my friend carrie who's in town from out of state. i had seriously looked forward to seeing her and some of my other old kappa delta friends (can i still call them sisters if i quit the house?  probably not.  and every time i think about that, it reminds me of the tenacious d song, "kyle quit the band."  like, "melissaandkellyandheather quit the house."  i still feel guilty about that.  college was drama at times.  anyhoo...), but instead i went home and lay there on the couch bemoaning to J how i wanted to go, wanted to go, wanted to go, but just could not get up again.

no rest for the weary, indeed.

it's compounded by the fact that my firm occupies two floors in this tall creaky 1920s building downtown, and my boss is one floor down from me, and me being the subordinate in the equation, i spend half my day going up and down and up and down. i'd take the elevator but i'm too impatient, and what a waste of electricity.

i have a doctor's appointment in thirty minutes and we'll see what he says. my prediction is that he'll tell me he miscalculated my due date and i'm retaining too much water and i'm under strict orders to quit working right away and go on bed rest for the next few weeks.

in the mean time, here's some images from an email forward i got today that i thought were hilarious: