kitten's ears

we are scheduled to have tubes put in kitten's ears tomorrow at 7:00 a.m.  it's a fifteen minute procedure, but we have to be there early to talk to the anesthesiologist, etc.  she is the first surgery of the day because she can't eat or drink anything after midnight.

of course i'm anxious about everything, especially the anesthesia, but i am certain that we are making the right decision.  her ears, even though they are not infected, are full of fluid and are causing her pain, pressure, and muffled hearing every day.  she pulls at her ears all day.

wish us luck.

update

J is doing better.  he is up and about today, and went with me to Kitten's appointment this morning.  he is beginning to taper off on the pain medications and put some weight on his leg.  we take off the sterile dressing tomorrow.

Kitten had an appointment with an ENT today and she will have tubes put in her ears next wednesday - my birthday.  it is a minor procedure done under gas anethesia that should take about 15 minutes, although we can expect to be at the facility for several hours.  please keep us in your thoughts as i'm a wee bit nervous about the anesthesia.

i think i found an office.

thing three involves the daycare and ahhhh i just can't go there yet.

things that are going on

thing one.  

there is a distinct possibility that i will be moving my office in the very near future.  as most of you know, i did not go back to my firm after having Kitten, opting to throw my hat into the sole-proprietorship ring and open my own practice.  my cousin had preceded me in this endeavor by several years and already operated an office in town - an office with room for two additional attorneys.  so since last fall, i've been renting office space from him.

wellllll, he's done his time and made his fortune and he's decided to scale back in the overhead department.  he's not sure what he's going to do yet - possibly office out of his house, or rent an office from another attorney like i do.  but either way, it looks like he'll be closing the doors on the office as we know it.  i can't say i blame him - i'd do the same thing.  no one relishes paying a ton of money for office space.  it's an annoying expense.

SO.

there are a variety of options i have open to me, including finding another attorney to rent space from, finding another attorney to share a new space with, or opening up my own office and renting space to other attorneys.  none of these options are incredibly attractive to me, as i'm very happy with the situation as it is, but you can't fight the winds of change.  technically i could office out of my house - i know several attorneys who do - but i don't think it's a particularly good idea for me.  i meet with clients OFTEN, and i don't want them coming to my house unless i have a very specific office space with a separate entrance.  

as a result, i spent a ton of time last week weighing options and looking at commercial office space, thus billing very little time to bring in the money that i will require to actually RENT these spaces.  *sigh.*  this is the make-it-or-break-it point in the process of hanging out my own shingle.  if i have to go back to law firm life, so be it, and i know i have several opportunities that are available for the taking, but i'm not going back to that lifestyle without putting up a fight.  a BIG fight.

which might mean i'll be eating ramen for a while.

thing two.

J had arthroscopic surgery on his knee friday morning to remove a portion of his torn meniscus (shock-absorbing cartilage).  we were discharged with antibiotics, lortab, and instructions to elevate, ice, move about freely to ensure continued flexibility and let the pain be our guide.  pain that should be manageable, if not minimal.

this worked fine friday night and saturday morning, but then around noon J's pain level suddenly skyrocketed.  we called the on-call doctor for the orthopedic surgeon's practice and he said, "yeah, that's normal, you're probably doing too much.  have you elevated it?"  well J had been laying on the couch elevating it the entire time.  by midnight, he was in excruciating pain and couldn't move.  not an inch.  laying on the couch cringing for hours, watching the clock tick by until he could take another pain pill.  so we called again.  more "yeah, that's normal, oh, you still have the ace bandage on?  oh, they told you to keep that on?  yeah, that's normal.  yeah, if you want to take some naproxen sodium that's fine.  that's normal.  if it's that bad go to the ER, i can't help."  AHHHH.  jerk.  it didn't seem normal to us, and it was FAR outside any guidelines that we had been given for post-operative expectations.  we decided to try to wait out the night.

this morning J woke up and it took him thirty minutes to make the round-trip to the bathroom.  he was in so much pain his face was white as a sheet, he broke into a cold sweat, and nearly passed out.

enough of that.

so my mom comes over to watch the girls and we pack up and go to the urgent care clinic.

NEVER GO TO THE URGENT CARE CLINIC AT 81ST AND MEMORIAL.

it's funny, because someone told me that EXACT SAME THING just YESTERDAY but we went there anyway because they were the first clinic in tulsa to open up this morning.

so after three hours at the worthless St. John's urgent care, the physician's assistant (WHO WAS ATTENDING TO US BECAUSE THERE IS **NO** DOCTOR THERE - THAT'S RIGHT - **NO** DOCTOR) finally calls the on-call orthopedic doctor from the night before who advises us to head over to the emergency room at the OSU Medical Center/former TRMC because he is on call there and wants to check J for a blood clot.

okay, the minute the PA said "blood clot" i think MY face went white as a sheet.

so i pack J up in the car again we book it downtown to the LOVELY OSU medical center and MAN that place is just scary.  i guess the south-tulsa-shiney-newness has rubbed off on me, but there is NO reason an emergency room should smell that strongly of cigarettes.  ew, ew, ew.  we were in my mom's black jag because it has a much longer back seat for J to lay in, and as we pulled up to the ER J is like, "we are in the WRONG place to be in this car."

so i walk in and i'm like, "surgery friday, inappropriate post-operative pain levels, DR. DANG IS EXPECTING US." and i'm just thinking blood clot blood clot blood clot.

and that's really his name.  dr. jimmy dang.  AVOID HIM.  he (or his associate) cuts you open, bills your insurance, and then completely renounces all moral and ethical obligation for your health and well being.  and as far as his legal obligation?  i'm still mulling over that.  his legal obligation is going to depend heavily on how well J's leg heals. because it better heal PERFECTLY at this point.

anyway, they make us go through all the processing and blah blah blah and it's actually going way faster than the urgent care place even though the urgent care place was basically empty of patients other than us the entire time we were there.  my sister meets us at the ER and feeds me a pepsi and a lunchable because by this time it's noon and all i've had all day is a cup of coffee.

so we get back into a room (and let me tell you the emergency rooms at OSU medical don't look anything like the small curtained partitions at southcrest.  they are big old-school tiled emergency rooms straight out of television.  they scream "SHOOTING!  TRIAGE!")

VERY long story short they don't know what's wrong.  they eliminate infection and blood clot (THANK GOD), give us a couple of other possibilities, tell us what to watch for, shoot J up with morphine, and send us on our merry way.

and you know what?  dr. dang doesn't show his happy shiny face the entire time.  so we drove all the way downtown to get a course of treatment that we could have gotten at any ER in town.  i'm soooo happy we did that.  right.

so by now it's three p.m. and we've spent approximately five hours and seventy-six thousand dollars on medical advice from one physician's assistant, two triage nurses, three emergency room physicians and one absentee orthopedic surgeon, that can all be summed up as "yeah. dunno."

but J's sleeping on the couch now and there's not much more i can ask for at this point.  at least he's getting some rest.  and when we got home, mom had made a wonderfully amazing pot roast which was waiting for us and could NOT have POSSIBLY tasted better.

we are so exhausted that mom took Kitten for the night and i called Princess's mom to take her. Princess's mom actually called me back while we were in the ER and i was like, "i'm the the ER with J would you want to take Princess tonight, no prob if you have plans but it's not much fun at our house this weekend..." and she's all, "yeah, yeah, sure, hey, can i ask you an etiquette question i bought this dress for this wedding and..." and i'm like OMG I AM LITERALLY STANDING IN THE ER WITH J.  ARE. YOU. SERIOUS.  i mean, i didn't ACTUALLY say that, being raised with the good graces not to.  i appreciate that she values my opinions on hemlines and color choices (i was, after all, kappa delta's most beloved Miss Gracious Living in recent history, ahem), but TIMING IS EVERYTHING.

anyway, i feel HORRIBLY guilty sending the girls away because we've spent the whole weekend in chaos with not enough quality cuddling time, but it's best for everyone.

i can't wait until things get back to normal.  J obviously can't go back to work tomorrow as expected, and i don't know how i'll be able to, either, if he's not feeling considerably better.

but here are the good things.  i need to list these for myself at this point.  

• J is in a lot of pain, but by all evaluations he is okay and will improve.  and he is resting.
• Princess and Kitten are happy and healthy.  
• J and are i both gainfully employed for the time being, and no matter what happens we both have the skill sets to support ourselves.
  
• we have a lovely, warm household and a lovely, warm family.

and, THEN, there's...

thing three.

and you know what? i totally do not have the energy to write about thing three.  so you will have to wait, my friends, to hear that rant.

ENT appointment

we has one.  for Kitten. in two weeks.  she's got another ear infection.  

i'm almost relieved.  i'd never wish for her to have an invasive procedure, but i really hate her being on antibiotics all the **** time.  it's like clockwork - ear infection, ten day round of antibiotics, she's happy for 5-8 days, then another ear infection.  i'm fed up, and it's screwing with her sleeping schedule because when she's got an ear infection she won't lay down flat.

tubes it is!

"any mummery will cure if the patient's faith is strong in it."

-mark twain

our family had two doctors' appointments today - Kitten's 9 month check-up and J's follow-up with the orthopedic specialist after having an MRI on his knee last thursday.

as expected, J is going to need surgery to repair a torn meniscus in his left knee.  surgery is schedule for two weeks from tomorrow, on friday, june 12.  they expect that he will be up and about the next day, which J was happy to hear.

Kitten's doctor pronounced her "perfect in every way," as mary poppins would say.  she has met or exceeded all of her developmental milestones.  she has no stranger anxiety (yet - although she's begun expressing a clear preference for me, much to J's annoyance) so she sat happily in the ped's lap and watched him talk.  the fluid in her ears has cleared up for now, and there were no shots to be had today.  her stats are as follows:

weight: 17lbs, 8oz (25%)

length: 28.25 inches (65%)

head: 40%

she's still long and skinny - and moving around at lightening speed.  in fact, she's so BUSY during the day that she no longer has the patience to take a bottle while at daycare, although she's happy to eat all the fruits, vegetables, and oatmeal that they will feed her.  as a result, she's not getting quiiiite enough formula every day (15-20 oz instead of 24-32 oz), so we're going to work a little harder on that.  

tomorrow is the last day of school.  J and i worked our tails off to get Princess's "new" room finished and it looks great.  i would promise pictures but i'm uber busy and can't guarantee it.  at any rate i'm sure she'll love it.

that's all i got.

wherein i reduce my life to bullet points because i don't have time to post in full sentences

• summertime starts next week!
• repainted the very large guest bedroom and are moving Princess out of her small bedroom into it next week while she's at her mom's as a start-of-the-summer surprise
• new bedspread, rugs, lamps, paint, curtains whole new 1st-grader look: no more pale pink princess, lots of bold purple, pink, blue, orange, and lime green; J doesn't see the big deal--obviously he was never a seven year old girl
• Princess is going to summer camp at Kitten's daycare - SO looking forward to dropping them off at the same place each morning
• trying to make summer plans, gave Princess the choice of visiting any state contingent to oklahoma, she picked kansas - what's in kansas?? - we convinced her to do arkansas; will probably go to branson 2 nights then eureka springs 2 nights - suggestions welcome
• annual lake trip with my family coming up in a few weeks
• Kitten's 9 month check-up is next week - NO VACCINATIONS THIS TIME so don't have to worry about that for another three months
• J blew out his knee last sunday (kneeling in front of the fridge to check out what kinds of beer we had after helping my sister and her husband remodel all day) which ended us up at the ER; we've consulted with ortho and had an MRI today, check-up next thursday will reveal whether he'll need surgery to repair what is probably a torn ligament
• work is crazy, hectic, miserable, annoying, and makes me clench my jaw, but i still wouldn't trade the flexibility that having my own practice gives me for anything, because you can't put a price on being able to skip out of the office immediately without having to make up the billables over the weekend when you get a call about a sick kid
• Kitten and Princess are complete opposites, i can already tell - Princess is very cautious, "wait and watch" type of girl; Kitten sees it, wants it, and is INTO it in 0.395 seconds
• southcrest hospital ER had us in and out in 1 hour - impressive for the second ER visit of my life
• my first visit: hillcrest, 10p.m., friday night, handful of friends, accident (not mine) with a bottle of spiced rum, a new glass pitcher from pier one freshly washed in hot water, and an ice maker in the dorms
• Kitten update: favorite baby foods: peas (yeck), cherry applesauce; least favorite: bananas, squash; pulling up and sitting down proficiently, moves from object to object (couch to coffee table), will be walking in no time; says "gaga," "yaya," "baba," and a little "mama" and "dada," but doesn't yet assign meanings to anything
• my sister and her husband are still remodeling their house and it is going to look amazing when it's finished
• my sister and her husband also adopted a new dog, lexie, who is like a long-lost twin to their yellow lab maggie
• if you see my sister or her husband be nice to them because their plate is FULL and they can't really speak in full sentences right now
• Kitten's still sleeping in the pack and play in our bedroom; after we finish Princess's room i'm going to actually dec-or-ate Kitten's room with the goal of having her sleeping in there by her birthday in august - we can't have her dreaming in anything less than a well-appointed bedroom, can we?  i've picked out the pottery barn kids "brooke" bedding pattern and hopefully will be able to buy it before they discontinue it
• made homemade chicken fried rice for dinner tonight and it is SO much better than the stuff from Asian Chef down the street
• and finally, congratulations to my friend jennifer taylor who just found out she's having a GIRL!!!!! to become a little sibling to her son blayne.  welcome to club pink.  i know you're thrilled.

malaise

Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn't learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn't learn a little, at least we didn't get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn't die; so, let us all be thankful. - Gautama Siddharta

Kitten and i are still sick.  last week my doc put me on antibiotics for a sinus infection and the antibiotics (i hate antibiotics, rarely take them) proved to be harder on my system than the sinus infection so i quit taking them, and then in the last 48 hours the sinus infection has redoubled its efforts to make my life miserable, so i started back on the antibiotics along with a little alka seltzer cold and a lot of water and a lot more misery.

yesterday was Kitten's 7th day on her most recent course of antibiotics for the third ear infection she's had since march, and she seemed to be doing worse rather than better.  i took her back to the ped (actually the nurse practitioner because the ped couldn't get us in) and she pronounced the infection to be still raging in her little ears and switched her back to the antibiotic that she was on before.

i'm sick to death of these ear infections (and antibiotics) and i'm ready to get her into an ENT to talk about tubes.  my ped isn't on board with this, says it isn't warranted until she's had four ear infections within six months.  he claims she's had only two, that the first two ear infections was really one long infection.

i say that's bull, that she's had THREE ear infections in THREE months with specific periods of wellness between each one, and each new one being precipitated by a new, easily identifiable headcold.  just because he didn't personally proclaim her "healed" between infections doesn't mean it didn't happen.  and if four in six months will do, why won't two (or three) in three?

whatever.  i'm in a terrible mood today.

i'm also thinking about switching peds.  i walked out of that appointment yesterday with the NP with more information than i've ever got from the ped, and that concerns me.  she gave me some actual helpful tips (try these homeopathic ear drops/watch out this will turn her stools colors/by the way try this for that rash on her mouth from the pacifier/if you're worried about her not getting enough liquid since she won't take a bottle right now try this but don't worry until this).  all i get from her ped is 120 seconds of "yup, she has an ear infection, here's a script, no not time for a specialist yet.  no, don't worry about that.  that either.  see you next time."

not to mention there are other things we don't see eye to eye on.  he is pro-antibiotics, pro-vaccinations, pro-ferber method/crying it out.  i am anti- all of those things.

but how do you really go about finding the right ped for you?  like i have time.  i mean, peds can interview well and that doesn't mean you're going to see eye to eye later, as evidenced by our current situation.  and i don't want to ped-hop.  i don't want someone to look at Kitten's medical history and think, "why in the world did they switch peds so often?  what was that about?"  makes you look ca-razy.

this is all just a rant.  i'm behind at work and the only place i want to be right now is home in bed, and i'm not getting the rest i need at night because Kitten gets tylenol every 4 hours which means she's waking every 3.5 in pain, and i can hardly dose myself with nyquil and pass out for the night when i know that i'm going to be up multiple times trying to settle her.

oh, and J's on call this week.

so that's what i'm up to.  happy spring.

has swine flu impacted your travel plans?

it did mine.

we were scheduled to take a trip to washington, d.c. to visit my best friend from high school, jeremy, and his husband nick, who just bought a fabulous new home in a maryland suburb of d.c.

i'm not usually one to buy into paranoia, but something about taking Kitten on a plane right now just didn't feel right.  i'm 99.9% sure that everything would have been fine, but i'm 0.1% sure that if something ever happened to Kitten i'd never forgive myself.

i polled just about everyone who would listen to me and the results were split.  half the people said, "just go, it'll be fine."  the other half said, "when in doubt, don't."

so i called my pediatrician, ever the voice of reason.  because when you have kids, apparently you completely lose all objectivity and i could NOT decide what to do.

he said to go, but put a face mask on her while in the airport/plane.

yeah, no.  A) trying to keep a face mask on an 8 month old for a two-leg trip is like, well, trying to keep a face mask on an 8 month old.  and B) i'm not taking my child anywhere that she needs to be wearing a face mask per the advice of her ped.  sorry.

but i talked myself into going on the trip anyway, and went ahead and booked our rental car and did those last-minute things.  and then on wednesday (the day before we were to leave), Kitten got sent home from daycare with vomiting.  we got her home and she was fine, but then i started coming down with symptoms of an upper respiratory infection.  (NOT swine flu.  just a head cold.)  i thought to myself, "if you hadn't been SO stressed out about this trip for the last four days, you wouldn't be getting sick right now.  do you really need one more reason?  screw it."

so i cancelled the trip.

i'm 99.9% sure that i overreacted, but i'm 0.1% sure that i'm comfortable with the decision i made.  and that 0.1% is the part that matters when it comes to my peace of mind and my child.

so we booked a bed and breakfast in springfield, missouri and had a truly restful time playing scrabble in the sitting room while Kitten snoozed in her pack and play.  then we drove around and visited a couple of caves and headed to branson, where we are now.  we've got a two-room suite at a resort.  last night we overindulged at a seafood buffet and then came back to the resort and rented movies from the front desk, put Kitten down in the bedroom and enjoyed our evening.

i will say one thing: there is much to be said for staying at a bed and breakfast when you're traveling with a child.  it sounds counterintuitive, but it's actually much better than staying in a traditional hotel room.  for about the same cost, you have (almost) all of the luxuries of home, and you can put the baby down and then go into the next room to finish the evening just a few feet away - but without having to dim the lights and keep the television off beginning at 7:00 p.m.  

yes, Kitten's bedtime is 7:00 p.m.  i know that sounds WAY early but that's just the time her little body is ready.  if i tried to keep her up later i'd have a screaming mess on my hands.  i fully anticipate that as she gets older her evenings will lengthen to 8:00 or 8:30, which is Princess's bedtime.  but i can't complain - she sleeps through the night until 7:00 a.m.  my little alarm clock.  every day of the week.  woo-hoo.  buh-bye weekends. 

actually it's not so bad.  my weekends are wildly productive now.  like right now, for instance!  it's 9:00 a.m. and i'm finishing my second cup of coffee and blogging - while J sleeps in.  we're going to switch tomorrow and he's going to let ME sleep in.  then we're going to go to eureka springs, which is pretty much our favorite place to be.

bliss.