typographical error

a couple of weeks ago jake and i filled out updated voter registration cards with our new address.  we actually got into a tiff the morning i was going to mail them because we were both rushed and i was trying to get him to sign his and he was distracted.  i gave up and left the cards sitting on the table and when i got home that evening they were gone.  

last week as i was sorting the mail into "mine" and "his" piles, i saw that we'd received our new cards.  i dropped jake's card into his pile and didn't think any more of it.

then yesterday afternoon i happened across jake's card again.  i glanced at it and in the "political affiliation" box i saw, "REP."

i was completely taken aback.  was this why he mailed his own registration card that morning?  why did he change his political affiliation?  and why did he feel like he had to hide it from me?  and most importantly for the love of all that is good and right in the world how did i end up married to a republican?

i debated about whether to ask him about it for all of forty-five seconds because i'm impulsive and i can't keep my mouth shut.  

"jake?  can i ask you something?" 

he gives me the, Crap, Here We Go look.

"did you change your political affiliation to republican?"

"no.  why?"

i showed him the card and he was baffled.  i was relieved.  a short phone call to the county election board and we had it all straightened out.  a typographical error on their part.  [aside: or was it? wink wink from the only state in the country where every single county went mccain.]

but the whole situation made me think: why was i so deeply disturbed when i saw the new voter registration card?  i felt downright betrayed, and why?  jake has a right to affiliate with whatever political party he pleases.  it doesn't define him.  i still love him.  my family has existed peacefully for generations in a deeply bipartisan household - we are democrats and libertarians and republicans, baptists and catholics and unitarians, hurricanes and sooners and cowboys.  and that's just my immediate family.

and what difference did it make if he was misregistered, anyway?  it would just screw up a few useless statistical polls, and he'd only be eligible to vote in the republican primary.

then it occurred to me - would it be such a bad thing if only democrats voted in the republican primary, and only republicans voted in the democratic primary?  what a unifying experience, being responsible for choosing the other party's candidates.  we'd end up with elected officials who, ideologically, would be much closer to the nation as  whole, rather than espousing views on behalf of only this party or that party.  they'd have to pander equally to all of us.  it would be, in mathematical terms, an election based on mean and not mode.  an averaging event.

maybe i'll start a grassroots campaign, then, to have all my democratic friends register as republicans and start really messing with the republican primaries.  

but then democrats will just start voting for the republican candidates and vice versa, and the whole exercise will have been pointless.  it's interesting to think about, though.

hillary clinton - REP - 2016.

guess whose first word was "mama?"

i knew this kid was smart.

they can't be trusted

i found these mysterious photographs on my camera this week.

i have no idea who took them.  do you?

in the background here you can see the lovely blue wall (NO MORE!) covered with paint swatches (i went with the one on the far left, even though i really wanted the one on the far right).

air shot:

i wonder how many items of dress-up clothes autumn can get onto her person at one time?

now for the interpretive dance portion of this post:

perhaps she's a matador?

hey you! there! sitting at your computer!

too bad i wasn't around to tell jake he was using the wrong lens and all of his pictures would be out of focus.

I AM ALL THAT IS MAN!

(ten cool points to the first person who can name that movie without googling it.)

neat freak in training

autumn has a drawer in the kitchen dedicated to all of her stuff. paper plates, pink paper birthday napkins, bendy straws, and plastic cups, all accessible to her so she can make her own snack or pour herself a drink.

last weekend (in the middle of playing dress-up - note the renaissance faire dress sewn by jake's mom) she decided to "organize" her drawer while i was cleaning the kitchen. she set all the cups upright and carefully placed a straw in each one.



it was so cute that i almost hated to ask her to close the drawer. she quickly realized her error and laid all the cups down.

she's such a sweetie.

i can has biter biscuit?

o hai.  i has a biter biscuit.


you want some, sis?


nooooes i dropped it!

thanks, matt

a friend said, of my post about work a few days ago, the following:

"Never name the well you will not drink from." 
-Bedouin Saying

so true, right?

blog hosting

i am seriously considering moving this blog to a new host because of all of the hassle it is to post pictures.  i think it must be because i'm on a mac, but formatting pictures on blogger is an enormous hassle and it never turns out right.

anyone have any suggestions for a mac - and - jpeg - friendly host?  i hate to change addresses, but i'd love to get someplace permanent and workable, even if i have to pay to have it hosted.

a snowy day in spring

[click for bigger]

work

i never blog about work.  first, it's hard to talk about work because so much goes on that to blog about it would just be to scratch the surface.  i don't really like talking about what i do even though people tend to find it interesting.  people ask, "how is work?" and i honestly don't even know where to begin.

also, my work is very stressful.  so talking about it just reminds me of all the things i need to do and have coming up that i'd rather forget about in my personal life.  i mean, it's not like i'm an in-house counsel who sits around and reviews contracts all day.  the law i practice is down and dirty and the people who are my clients are generally involved in pretty messy situations.  divorce isn't pretty.  everyone loses.  no one ever comes out of a divorce case with a "victory," just varying degrees of loss.  people are terrible to each other, and terrible to their children, and dealing with that every day is not something that is fun for me to talk about at dinner parties.

also, i don't think it's a good idea to blog about cases.  even though i'd of course keep it anonymous, it still feels wrong.

but today, i'm breaking my rule and blogging about work.

i'm at a breaking point. i don't have a secretary, but i can't go on any longer spending hours every day doing clerical tasks like addressing envelopes, filing papers, and making courthouse runs that i can't bill my clients for. i am unbelievably, over the top stressed out.  i have piles of files to be opened and filing to be done.  my february bills didn't even go out until march 25.  

but at the same time, i'm not quite yet in a financial position to hire a secretary and be responsible for someone else's salary. 

last month i billed about 1/3 of what i was billing at the last firm i was at. if i had a secretary, i could have billed twice that - even working the cake hours that i've been keeping.

even so, i won't actually make all of what i billed, because my clients don't pay. i'll be lucky if i collect on 1/4 of it. and after taxes and overhead, that doesn't leave much.

when i was a baby attorney with lofty morals and a cushy salaried position, i was quick to proclaim that i'd never alienate a client because they weren't able to pay.  no no no, how unethical to stop working on a case when your client is in crisis.  of course they can't be expected to come up with all that money when they make $12.00 an hour and have three kids to support and a deadbeat spouse who's hidden the savings account.

but now? i have to pay my own we$tlaw subscription and my own CLE and my own bar dues and my own malpractice insurance and $125 for a single stupid deskbook that will be obsolete in 10 months and when all that's paid i have to pay my mortgage with what's left.  and in order to do so, i'm going to have to join the ranks of all those other attorneys of the world who stop working on your case until you pay your bill. because i can't work for free anymore. 

now i just have to figure out how to tell my clients, those poor working fathers and mothers who just want time with their kids and a little piece of the equity in the house, that i can't represent them until they hock their worldly possessions to pay their attorney fees. how do i look them in the face and tell them that no, i can't make an exception this month, they need to squeeze blood out of their turnip of a bank account and pay their bill to me before i can help them any more?

all they see is a greedy attorney behind a big black desk who's taking a hard line with them, who just doesn't understand the position they're in. but can't you see?? you're my attorney, you know what my situation is! you know i don't have any money to pay you!

what they don't understand is that i paid for this big black desk with a credit card and i can't afford a secretary and i have a seven month old baby with a daycare bill that won't get paid if i spend all my time working on cases for free.

i love the flexibility that working for myself is giving me. but more often than not i really hate what i do for a living.  

it better pay off someday.

thanks for listening.