an open letter to my blog

hi, blog. how are you doing? i'm sorry i haven't been around here much the past few months. my life has just been very busy. i know that's no good excuse. after all, you're the way that i share my life with so many of my friends and family.

but it's just been crazy. first i wrecked my car, and then kitten had tubes in her ears again, and then we had the girl's birthday party. in between all of that J decided to take a new job within his company, so we had to go buy a car to replace the one that i wrecked. we bought a used prius and we're pretty excited about it. it smells strongly of cigarette smoke, but we're hoping to get it aired out well. and since it's J's commuter car, it was his call and he said it didn't bother him that much. it has a whole lot of miles but we got a really good price and we weren't really looking to buy a new car right now, anyway. circumstances just put us in that position.

and after all, the only thing more ecologically friendly than buying a hybrid car is buying a USED hybrid car.

work has been crazy too. things are going well in my practice, but it is very stressful being out on your own. you never know how much next month's paycheck will be, so i'm always thinking about account balances and payments and ten trillion other financial things. and you know i hate math.

as you know, blog, i used to love sitting on the computer in the evenings. i'd watch tv and surf the internet, edit photographs and post them, and write blogs. it was a creative outlet for me.

but lately, i've become really averse to technology. the last thing i want to do in the evenings is be on the computer. i'm not really watching much tv anymore, either. on fridays i dutifully pack up my laptop to bring it home for the weekend, but i really don't even care anymore. it barely makes it out of my briefcase most of the time.

because having a toddler is tiring, blog! where i used to spend my evenings and weekends cooking and watching my favorite shows and movies and going out to dinner with J and hanging out with friends, now i do laundry. lots of laundry.

and picking up toys. blocks. plastic shapes. flutes. balls. noise makers. baby dolls. puzzle pieces. my ankles are worse for the wear.

and giving of baths. and laying out of clothes for the next day. and packing lunches. and doing dishes. and paying bills. OH the bills.

and when it's all done, it's an accomplishment if i have the energy to take a shower and blow dry my hair instead of just going to bed with it wet and then it sticks out insanely the next day like winona ryder's character lydia deetz in beetlejuice.

and interestingly, as i've receded from electronics, i find i've been picking up my old books more. just in the last week i've read john fowles' "The French Lieutenant's Woman," and re-read his first effort, "The Collector."

the point is, blog, i think i've overextended myself with my online obligations. too many social networking sites, too many message boards, too much virtual interaction. i can't keep up with it all. i need to pare down. the effort to streamline my social information so that it goes 10 places at once and reaches everyone with no effort has instead resulted in way too many websites that i have to log into each day and check. as a result, i don't log into any of them at all. and then i'm feeling guilty because i haven't posted pictures of the girls' birthday party yet, but that's because i haven't photoshopped them yet, and that's because they're still in the freaking camera because instead of photoshopping pictures of them i'd rather BE with them and then after that i just want to ... sleep?

but don't worry, blog. i'm not going to abandon you. i just need to take a little bit more of a break. i'll be back.

when the chaos subsides, this sheep will return to the fold.