Bug!

here's a video of aislinn yesterday. she's recovering from a virus so please ignore her runny nose.

the weekend update

oh, golly gee, what a week. i had to get three beers in me before i could even get up the motivashuns to start this post.

tuesday morning aislinn had a tiny cough when she woke up. i'd been sick the week before so i just thought, "oh, she's coming down with what i had." then tuesday evening she came home from daycare with a stiff neck. she still didn't have a fever and was acting chipper so i thought i'd just keep an eye on it, even when she was fussy at bedtime which is uncharacteristic of her.

then she woke up around 9:30 p.m. running a fever. crap! stiff neck+fever+cough=meningitis scare in my book. i'm probably uber jumpy because i was in college at the time that there were meningitis outbreaks nationwide in college dorms so it's kind of on my radar, and also because she's my BAY-BEE and i've got a Ph.D. in self-schooled pediatrics courtesy of WebMD and babycenter.com and Dr. Sears.

so i called our pediatrician's after hours line to talk to a nurse. the answering service says that our ped is still taking after-hours calls and she will page him. okay, that's fine, whatev.

now my ped has kind of been on my shit list for a while for a couple of different reasons that i've mentioned on here previously. long story short he's a little too young and a little too cocky and takes me a little not seriously enough and always acts like i'm overreacting even though aislinn only sees him MAYBE twice a year for actual sickness. i'm no dumb young thing, right, so don't treat me that way, it won't fly.

anyways the pediatrician called me back and was acting all annoyed at my call, like i scoured the internet to find his home number or something. then he told me that he "doesn't know how [I could] really tell that a child that young has a stiff neck anyway, soooo..." okay, thanks for more or less just calling me an idiot. goodbye. in fact, goodbye forevah.

so i wait until the morning and i text my pediatrician/stepsister and ask her whether i should make an appointment with the doctor or take her to the emergency room. she tells me to go ahead and bring her to the ER (where she's a resident) because with the stiff neck that's probably where the ped will send her anyway to have blood tests done.

SO i take her to the ER and they give her an IV to take blood and give her a strep test and have to give her a catheter to get a urine sample since she isn't potty trained and it's an all-around six-hour nightmare, despite the doctors and nurses on staff at the St. Francis Pediatric ER who were very kind and gentle and accommodating and all-around great. ultimately she's discharged with a diagnosis of an general infection (probably whatever i had) that's caused her lymph nodes to swell which is causing the stiff neck. follow up with general practitioner in 1-2 days.

so we took her home and i inhaled some pei-wei and by this time she and i were just flat-out exhausted so we slept.

cut to friday. she was still running a fever, so i took her to a new pediatrician for her follow-up on the recommendation of a friend. my initial impression is that this guy and i will jive a whole lot better, so i'm hopeful.

today aislinn has continued to run a fever (the 5th day), but today her fever was a lot lower and i had to give her very little medicine. i don't ALWAYS medicate a fever, but i do medicate symptoms when she's appearing very uncomfortable. we were even able to venture OUT OF THE HOUSE with daddy to go to whole foods for lunch and to a used bookstore.

being out of the office unexpectedly for three days in a row has been nothing short of a logistical NIGHTMARE in terms of client appointments and things i need to get done, so i am very ready to be back at work tomorrow, even though i'm only working a half-day so i can pick her up early. but at least i didn't have to take a bunch of attitude from a superior about it. it's my practice and i can stay-home-with-my-sick-kid if i want to. that was the whole point, right?

having a sick child is so exhausting, more emotionally than physically because you'd give anything to make them better. the whole thing was underscored for me by the death of an eighteen year old boy from my hometown on friday. steven wilson had engaged in a courageous battle with cancer for the last year, and thousands of strangers and friends followed his every setback and improvement on his facebook page and the blog written by his mother. so i hold my beer up high this evening to parents everywhere who have children who are gravely ill. a twelve-hour scare nearly brought me to my knees, and i can't imagine what horrors they must go through every day as they watch your children suffer. bless you.

anyway. now i'm going to go sleep for a dozen hours.

i has a jacket!

a life jacket, to be exact.

last night after my extended immediate family's (is that redundant?) sometimes-weekly Thursday Night Dinner, erin accompanied me to Academy to purchase a life jacket for kitten. we're going to the lake for our annual extended immediate family lake trip in a couple of weeks. i'd looked at wal-mart and target but found nothing satisfactory. when i mentioned this to erin, she mentioned academy. i was hoping to find something without cartoon characters. unfortunately i wasn't able (EVERY SINGLE LIFE JACKET had a cartoon character), but i did find something with a relatively benign Dora The Explorer patch - and it seemed the safest design.

en route aislinn was at the End Of Her Rope, it being after her bedtime. but once we walked into Academy she brightened right up and was so proud to try on her new "jacket."

jacket?! jacket?! jackejackejacket?!

she was SO proud of it, in fact, that she wore it all the way out of the store. we set her up onto the cash register and had her scanned.

and then we got to the car and she had to take off her "jacket" and promptly melted down in the parking lot, and then fell asleep on the 7 minute ride home.

do you like my jacket? jacket?

in fact, the only thing she said more often that evening than, jacket? was ewi? ewi? ("erin? erin?"). erin is her FA-VOR-ITE person. she likes aw ewi ("aunt erin") more than she likes mama. she has picked up on the times and places where aw ewi is likely to appear. after daycare, if we go anywhere other than home, when i open the car door at the restaurant or store or mall she's asking, aw ewi? ewi?? if we go home and someone comes in the front door before jake is expected home, she chirps, ewii!!! ewii!!!! it's adorable.

Dear IRS

May 5, 2010

Internal Revenue Service

P.O. Box 802502

Cincinatti, OH 45280-2502

Re: 2010 First Quarter Estimated Tax Payment.

Dear IRS:

Enclosed is my 2010 First Quarter Estimated Tax Payment due April 15, 2010. It is not late. I paid it already and it was misapplied to 2009 and sent back to me with my 2009 tax refund. They say, “if you love something let it go, if it comes back to you it’s yours forever,” but something tells me that when it comes to the IRS and my estimated tax payment, this is not the case. So here it is again. Please keep it this time, at least until I file my 2010 tax return, at which time I would be happy to welcome it home.

Best regards,

Me

conversations with god

this week the oklahoma legislature overrode governor brad henry's veto of two abortion measures, which means the measures took immediate effect.

one of the bills requires women to undergo an ultrasound and listen to a detailed description of the fetus before getting an abortion. the other measure prohibits pregnant women from seeking damages if physicians withhold information or provide inaccurate information about their pregnancy.

this isn't going to be a blog about the pro-choice vs. pro-life debate. i've thought long and hard about that issue, and since there's no chapter on gestational age and the soul in the bible, i went straight to the source and asked god when the soul enters a fetus. he in his infinite wisdom replied, "[silence]."

now i could be wrong, but unless stephen hawking has created some magical telephone to the afterlife available only to the pope and planned parenthood and the oklahoma legislature, then i'm pretty sure that everyone has received the same response from the almighty: nada. so i'm not interested in discussing the right or wrong of it with anyone who doesn't have irrefutable proof, and until then, i'm not taking part in the abortion debate--and frankly, i don't think anyone else should be debating it, either, except between themselves and god. who won't answer, by the way. frustrating, no?

but back to these bills. what i find interesting--and i don't like to generalize about the right or the left because i myself am all over the place--but what i find interesting is that the same people who are vehemently protesting obama's "death panels" regarding physician guidance on end-of-life discussions are the same ones who are supporting the oklahoma legislature's required physician guidance on end-of-pregnancy discussions.

now, wait. what? you can't have it both ways. either the government is in the exam room, or they aren't. you can't pick and choose to suit your cause.

i'm appalled that the legislature thinks it's okay to dictate how doctors communicate with their clients. these requirements that doctors engage abortion patients in lengthy conversations about the fetus so that women can be "informed" about their choice to end a pregnancy: where is the requirement that doctors engage pregnancy patients in lengthy conversations about the cost of raising a child to adulthood, and carbon footprints, so that a woman can be "informed" about their choice to carry a pregnancy to term? the whole concept is woefully imbalanced. women can inform themselves just fine.

i mean, what's next?

before we can perform your hysterectomy to save you from potentially fatal cancer we are required by law to count how many viable eggs you are going to be throwing away as medical waste, and we have to show it to you on an ultrasound and read you this script drafted by your state legislature.

before we can perform your masectomy to we are required by law to show you a film about why it's best to breastfeed your baby so that you are fully aware of all potential drawbacks to this procedure recommended by your oncologist.

does the legislature think we're all idiots??

and i think it's even more abhorrent that this legislation allows doctors to outright lie to their patients about the condition of their pregnancy if the physician thinks that the information might cause a woman to seek an abortion. are you insane, oklahoma legislature??? i can't even communicate how repugnant this premise is. that's barbaric.

the bottom line for me: the government shouldn't be placing ANY requirements on how doctors talk to their patients - about life, death, or anything in between. and it shouldn't protect doctors from lying or misleading patients about real medical issues. these things should be left to the oklahoma and american medical associations who have actual medical knowledge--not just a bunch of morally ambiguous suits up at the capitol lunching on smoked salmon and making judgments about the decision-making abilities of intelligent adults they've never met.

i hope all of you understand how important it is that this legislation be overturned - and it will, it's blatantly unconstitutional. this has nothing to do with whether or not abortions are immoral or criminal, and everything to do with interfering in the doctor/patient relationship. the implications of this legislation are far-reaching: i'm not planning to seek an abortion, but i am planning to have another baby at some point, and this legislation allows my doctor to arbitrarily withhold crucial information from me about my pregnancy and the health of my unborn child.

EVERYONE should be frightened by this.

garlic-ancho chile shredded chicken

do this, you won't regret it. beginning to end time: 25 minutes.

ingredients:
4 chicken breasts
4 cloves garlic
2 dried ancho chiles
ground cumin
1 can tomato paste
salt, sugar
bunch of fresh cilantro, or not, or dried oregano

for serving:
corn or flour tortillas or polenta
sour cream
shredded red cabbage

how:
place chicken breasts in large pan and cover with 1.5 cups of water. throw in garlic cloves (peeled, whole) and a pinch of salt and a handful of roughly chopped cilantro. or not. or use dried oregano. cover. simmer 10-15 minutes until chicken breasts are cooked through.

meanwhile, remove the stem and seeds from two small or one large dried ancho chile. find a package of them for a buck fifty in the mexican spice section of your grocery - commonly labeled "chile mulato." they last forever in your pantry. don't be afraid. put the dried chiles in a large glass bowl.

when chicken is cooked through, remove breasts from pan and set aside. pour boiling hot cooking broth into glass bowl with chiles and let them soak for 10 minutes while you shred the chicken breasts with two forks.

add to cooking broth and chiles: 1 can tomato paste, 2 teaspoons ground cumin, 1 teaspoon sugar, and a few large pinches of kosher salt. use immersion blender to create sauce. or put it in your blender, or food processor. whatevs.

pour sauce over shredded chicken* and combine.

serve in corn tortillas or over fresh polenta (or in flour tortillas if that's your thing but you have to know that flour tortillas aren't nearly as good) with shredded red cabbage, diced green onion, and a dollop of sour cream.

*set aside a serving of unsauced, garlic-poached chicken for the kiddos. the ancho chile sauce is just the teeniest bit spicy.

pictures not available because i'm lame with my camera these days. well, not the camera so much as the computer. i never bring it home so the pictures never make it out of my camera. other things you're missing: Easter, playing in the water hose, Aislinn's first encounter with toad. useless pixels on a flash memory card.

boundaries

aislinn is a handful. saturday morning autumn was feeling a little under the weather, so she was lying on the couch sipping a glass of water. aislinn toddled over to the coffee table, picked up the glass of water, and poured it right on autumn's lap. autumn burst into tears and aislinn thought it was hilarious.

who is this child?

she WILL NOT leave the dog dishes alone. over and over and OVER i have to get onto her. erin suggested that i just let her eat the dog food, that she wouldn't like it and then she'd leave it alone, but that hasn't worked. she just squats there by the bowls, picks up a piece of dog food, dips it into the water, and feeds it to the dog. or herself.

on saturday, after the water incident, she had her first "time out." i realize that she's too young to understand time out, but i feel like i have to do something. i put her in the corner and stood there for a minute or so. she was utterly unaffected. she thought it was funny. she's not old enough to understand consequences yet, but i guess i have to start somewhere.

a few minutes later found her sitting on the couch hitting her baby doll and saying, "no, no!" i don't understand this at all. she's started hitting to get your attention and we've been swift to discourage this behavior. so i don't know if she was telling her baby doll, "no," or whether she was saying "no" to herself as she hit the doll. either way it was disturbing to me.

then a few minutes later i walked past the "time out"spot and there was her baby doll. i wanted to cry, but why?

we're not a yelling household, and we don't swat. the most i've ever done is slap her hand when she's done something dangerous. so seeing her engage in this sort of role play with her baby doll upset me. i feel like i'm firm with her, jake doesn't think i'm firm enough. i think he overestimates her capacity to understand cause and effect; i think he underestimates it. i think she's just exploring her boundaries and not intentionally being "bad;" he thinks she's acting out and needs to be disciplined.

it's a hard age. her vocabulary is expansive and her curiosity is incessant. she's not afraid of anything. she's the polar opposite of her sister, who embraces rules and feels comforted by boundaries.

she's putting together little two- and three-word sentences. she doesn't want to be rocked before bed anymore. she puts her shoes on by herself. i tried to get her to nap with me on sunday and she wouldn't have it - all she wanted to do was talk about the dog. what happened to my cuddly baby? it's such a big world and she's so eager to be out in it. STOP! DANGER! PELIGROSO, MY DARLING!