resume

i would not normally post an email forward, but i think that the country is in a dire position and i'm sick of all the right-wing propaganda that floods my inbox every day.

***

This person needs a new job; seeking an executive position. Can 

you help out? Available January 2009. Willing to relocate. 

RESUME 

GEORGE W. BUSH 

1600 Pennsylvania Avenue 

Washington, DC 20520 

EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE 

Law Enforcement: I was arrested in Kennebunkport, Maine, in 1976 

for driving under the influence of alcohol. I pled guilty, paid 

a fine, and had my driver's license suspended for 30 days. My 

Texas driving record has been "lost" and is not available. 

Military: I joined the Texas Air National Guard and went AWOL. I 

refused to take a drug test or answer any questions about my 

drug use. By joining the Texas Air National Guard, I was able 

to avoid combat duty in Vietnam. 

College: I graduated from Yale University with a low C average. 

I was a cheerleader. 

PAST WORK EXPERIENCE : I ran for U.S. Congress and lost. I began 

my career in the oil business in Midland,Texas in 1975. I bought 

an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas. The company 

went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock. 

I bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal 

that took land using taxpayer money. With the help of my father 

and our friends in the oil industry (including Enron CEO Ken 

Lay), I was elected governor of Texas. 

ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS GOVERNOR OF TEXAS: 

I changed Texas pollution laws to favor power and oil companies, 

making Texas the most polluted state in the union. During my 

tenure, Houston replaced Los Angeles as the most 

smog-ridden city in America. 

I cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas treasury to the tune of 

billions in borrowed money. 

I set the record for the most executions by any governor in 

American history. 

With the help of my brother, the governor of Florida , and my 

father's appointments to the Supreme Court, I became President 

of the United States, after losing by over 500,000 votes. 

ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT: 

I am the first President in U.S. history to enter office with a 

criminal record. 

I invaded and occupied two countries at a continuing cost of 

over one billion dollars per week. 

I spent the U.S. surplus and effectively bankrupted the U.S. 

Treasury. 

I shattered the record for the largest annual deficit in U.S. 

history. 

I set an economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in 

any 12-month period. 

I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month 

period. 

I set the all-time record for the biggest drop in the history 

of the U.S. stock market. 

In my first year in office, over 2 million Americans lost their 

jobs and that trend continues. 

I'm proud that the members of my cabinet are the richest of any 

administration in U.S. history. My "poorest millionaire," 

Condoleezza Rice, has a Chevron oil tanker named after her. 

I set the record for most campaign fund-raising trips by a U.S. 

President. I am the all- time U.S. and world record -holder for 

receiving the most corporate campaign donations. 

My largest lifetime campaign contributor, and one of my best 

friends, Kenneth Lay, presided over the largest corporate 

bankruptcy fraud in U.S. history, Enron. My political party used 

Enron private jets and corporate attorneys to assure my success 

with the U.S. Supreme Court during my election decision. 

I have protected my friends at Enron and Halliburton against 

investigation or prosecution. More time and money was spent 

investigating the Monica Lewinsky affair than has been spent 

investigating one of the biggest corporate rip-offs in history. 

I presided over the biggest energy crisis in U.S. history and 

refused to intervene when corruption involving the oil industry 

was revealed. I presided over the highest gasoline prices in 

U.S. history. 

I changed the U.S. policy to allow convicted criminals to be 

awarded government contracts. 

I appointed more convicted criminals to my administration than 

any President in U.S. history. 

I created the Ministry of Homeland Security, the largest 

bureaucracy in the history of the United States Government. 

I've broken more international treaties than any President in 

U.S. history. 

I am the first President in U.S. history to have the United 

Nations remove the U.S. from the Human Rights Commission. 

I withdrew the U.S. from the World Court of Law. 

I refused to allow inspector's access to U.S. "prisoners of war" 

detainees and thereby have refused to abide by the Geneva 

Convention. 

I am the first President in history to refuse United Nations 

election inspectors (during the 2002 US election). 

I set the record for fewest numbers of press conferences of any 

President since the advent of television. 

I set the all-time record for most days on vacation in any 

one-year period. After taking off the entire month of August, 

I presided over the worst security failure in U.S. history. 

I garnered the most sympathy ever for the U.S. after the World 

Trade Center attacks and less than a year later made the U.S. 

the most hated country in the world, the largest failure of 

diplomacy in world history. 

I have set the all-time record for most people worldwide to 

simultaneously protest me in public venues (15 million people), 

shattering the record for protests against any person in the 

history of mankind. 

I am the first President in U.S. history to order an unprovoked, 

pre-emptive attack and the military occupation of a sovereign 

nation. I did so against the will of the United Nations , the 

majority of U.S. Citizens and the world community. 

I have cut health care benefits for war veterans and support a 

cut in duty benefits for active duty troops and their families 

in wartime. 

In my State of the Union Address, I lied about our reasons for 

attacking Iraq and then blamed the lies on our British friends. 

I am the first President in history to have a majority of 

Europeans (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to 

world peace and security. 

I am supporting development of a nuclear "Tactical Bunker 

Buster," a WMD. 

I have so far failed to fulfill my pledge to bring Osama Bin 

Laden to justice. 

RECORDS AND REFERENCES: 

All records of my tenure as governor of Texas are now in my 

father's library, sealed and unavailable for public view. 

All records of SEC investigations into my insider trading and my 

bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for 

public view. 

All records or minutes from meetings that I, or my 

Vice-President, attended regarding public energy policy are 

sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public review. I 

specified that my sealed documents will not be available for 50 

years. 

PLEASE SEND THIS TO EVERY VOTER YOU KNOW! 

"Of course the people don't want war. But after all, it's the 

leaders of the country who determine the policy, and it's 

always a simple matter to drag the people along whether it's a 

democracy, a fascist dictatorship, or a parliament, or a 

communist dictatorship. Voice or no voice, the people can always 

be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you 

have to do is tell them they are being attacked, and denounce 

the pacifists for lack of patriotism, and exposing the country 

to greater danger." 

-- Herman Goering at the Nuremberg trials