birth

i was scheduled for an induction on august 28.  i was supposed to be at the hospital that morning at 7:30 a.m. to check in.  the night before, J and i stayed up late cleaning the house, doing laundry, and getting everything in order.  i knew that we'd be having visitors after we came home and i'd be busy and tired, so we wanted everything to be clean and orderly.  we actually ended up staying up way later than we should have, but we were both excited.  around midnight we made a run to mcdonald's because i was hungry and craving one last junk food fix.  after we got home i went to bed and rested fitfully.  eventually J came to bed, too. i don't think either of us slept much before the alarm went off at 5:30 the next morning.  i even got up at 3:00 a.m. to eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

i got up when the alarm went off and called st. francis to make sure that they had enough bed space for me.  the woman verified that they did and said to come on in.  then i texted my mom and my sister to let them know that everything was going ahead.  J got up and we threw our bags in the car and went.  it totally felt like we were getting ready to leave for a vacation.

i drove to the hospital, making one quick stop at starbucks on the way.  i ordered my usual - a grande decaf cinnamon dolce latte.  the girl at the window asked me when i was due and when i told her that we were on our way to the hospital right then she laughed and looked really surprised - probably because i was driving with J in the passenger seat and she assumed i was in active labor.

we got to st. francis and J videotaped me walking in.  well, wadding.  i honestly was not stressed at all.  as much as i was convinced that i'd end up with a c-section, i was not remotely worried.  i had *no* anxiety.  after all, having children is what women do.  i really just trusted my body to do what it needed, and trusted my doctor to do the rest.

we went upstairs and checked in at the window at labor and delivery.  we were in a room by 8:30a.m. the nurse came in and did some paperwork, got me into one of those hideous hospital gowns, and strapped a fetal monitor to my stomach.  by 9:00a.m. the nurse had started my iv and was running antibiotics (for the group-b strep) and a low dose of pitocin.  my doctor came by on rounds about 9:30a.m. and checked me and tried to break my water, but wasn't able to.  i was a fingertip dilated and 70% effaced. 

by 11:00a.m. i was dilated to a 3-4 and starting to be in some pain, so they gave me a shot of stadol through my iv, which TOTALLY took the edge off.  the contractions themselves weren’t that bad, but I hadn’t established a regular contraction pattern so they were just one after another with no break – like bad menstrual cramps.  it was annoying but i was still talking and snoozing through them.

around noon the nurse came into check me again and i had dilated to a good 4.  after she checked me i started leaking a little amniotic fluid, which was good because my doctor hadn't been able to break my water earlier.  later we realized she probably nicked the bag of waters when she checked me.  the pain started getting worse as the fluid was leaking because it was allowing Kitten to move down, so i got another shot of stadol.  i requested my epidural and the anesthesiologist was called.

in the next thirty minutes i kept leaking and it started really hurting for the first time.  the pain was still bearable, however, and i was able to breathe through the contractions with just a little wincing, face scrunching, and squeezing the bedrails (who needs lamaze?).  

when the anesthesiologist came in i had to sit up on the edge of the bed and they had J sit in a chair.  i put my feet in his lap and he held my hands. the anesthesiologist started working on my back and i wasn't even remotely concerned with what he was doing because i was still contracting and concentrating pretty hard on breathing through them.  that was the worst the contractions every got, and honestly they were not that bad.  i mean, they hurt, but it was nothing i couldn't handle.

and then all of the sudden my water BROKE. i was like, oh, J, my water broke, my water broke, watch out! the nurse said, "it's okay" and started grabbing some towels.  J just looked at me sort of nonplussed and i told him, "no, babe, it's going everywhere!"  about that time he realized that it really WAS going everywhere, all over his lap as it ran down my legs, and we couldn't move because the anesthesiologist had a giant needle in my spine at the time.  but luckily the fluid was clear and J was a great sport about it, and had a change of clothes with him.

the anesthesiologist finished up - it felt like it only took about sixty seconds for him to get the epidural in.  i was so distracted that i didn't feel a thing.  maybe like a tiny pinch but nothing like what i've heard some women describe.

after the anesthesiologist left, i laid back and rested.  i had about 15 more minutes of pain before the epidural kicked in, but it wasn't bad.  once it kicked in i could still move my legs and had some mobility but i was too wobbly to stand up.  

so the nurse left the room and they just kind of let the epidural and the pitocin do their job.  the nurses had a shift change and i got a new nurse who i totally *loved.*  around 2:00p.m. the nurse came in to drain my bladder with a catheter since i couldn't stand and couldn't feel anything, and i immediately dilated to a 5.  the nurse explained that the pressure of my full bladder was keeping me from dilating.  

i wasn't feeling a thing, though.  the epidural worked like a charm and i napped through most of the afternoon. the only way i could tell that i was having a contraction was by watching the contraction monitor.  i had brought a stack of cds and it was lovely to have the lights dimmed and music playing.  and it was funny to listen through my stadol-induced-haze as mom and erin discussed which cd to put in next.  "the eels?  wilco?  bright eyes?  death cab for cutie??  what ARE these?"

at one point Kitten's heart rate dropped and three nurses came in and rolled me over onto my side and gave me some oxygen to get her heart rate back up.  they all stood there pushing on my stomach to try to get Kitten to move into a better position and watching the fetal monitor.  at the time J had stepped out into the lobby to grab a bite of pizza that my visitors had ordered - i think it was the first time he had been out of the room for any significant period of time all day, and of course *that* would be when the Scary Thing happened.  i asked my sister to run and get him.  

by the time he came back in Kitten's heart rate had come back up and the nurses were gone. J pulled a chair up to the bed and held my hands for a while to calm me down.  between the adrenaline rush from the scare and the effects of the epidural, i started shaking really hard but the nurse explained that was a completely normal reaction, and it subsided in about 15 minutes and i dropped back off to sleep.  that was seriously the only tiny moment when i had any fear at all.

by 5:00p.m. i was still dilated to a 5-6 but i was 100% effaced.  the nurse pushed on my cervix some to try to get me to dilate a bit more.  

at 5:30p.m. she drained my bladder again and told me i was a solid 6.  she told me to call her if i started feeling any pressure, which i did on the very first first contraction after she left the room.  i was still in no pain but i could feel Kitten pressing down, so i watched the contraction monitor for a few contractions to see what happened.  i thought surely i couldn't be feeling pressure that quickly, so i put off calling the nurse.

the pressure got more intense (but still totally painless) and i started feeling it all over by the third or fourth contraction.  i buzzed the nurse at about 6:00p.m.  she checked me and said, "girl, you are a ten!"  i was totally shocked - i had been at a 6 only thirty minutes before.

the nurse had me push through one contraction to see how quickly the baby moved down.  i thought i would have to do this for a quite a while to move her down before the doctor was called, but she said, no, stop pushing, we're calling the doctor now.  i asked the nurse how long she thought i'd have to push, and she said, "if you can keep pushing like that you won't have to push more than 30 or 45 minutes."  i thought this was great news.  ha!

so they called in the doctor and got the room set up - things started happening fast.  the doctor came in, putting on his gown and gloves as he walked in the door, and sat down.  when everything was said and done, i started pushing a little after 7:00p.m. J was on my right and mom was on my left and erin was in the corner by the door (easy escape) with the video camera.  we watched the contraction monitor to see when i was contracting so i would know when to push, since i wasn't in any pain at all.  

the doctor announced the first contraction and i pushed once to move her down and she moved ALL the way down.  then we missed the second contraction because we were all too busy talking and joking around.  the next contraction i pushed once and her head was out, and a second time and she was born!  between pushes the doctor had me pause because she had her cord wrapped around her neck THREE TIMES. it was a crazy long cord, which my doctor said is a sign of intelligence. with it wrapped around that many times it's a miracle that her heart rate only dropped once and i didn't end up with a c-section.  sun kil moon's ghosts of the great highway was playing in the background and it was an incredibly chill and surreal moment.  i could not believe she was born, that THAT was the moment when my daughter came into my life and i was living it RIGHT THEN.  it was almost too much to absorb. 

i honestly still cannot believe how well it went.  on the video from the delivery you can see me throwing my head back on the pillow right after she was born and exclaiming, "oh my god! that was so EASY!"  everyone in the background laughed and the nurse said, "yeah, honey, that is NOT normal."

she started crying immediately and they cleaned her up in the room.  her Apgars were 8 and 9, and she was 6lbs, 11oz and 19.25 inches long with LOTS of blonde hair.  then everyone left us to ourselves.  she started breastfeeding within the first hour.  i was still in the delivery room and there were lots of people in the waiting room who had been there for a long time, and so they all came back in groups to see her.  

by 11:00p.m. we had moved to a postpartum room and the epidural had worn off so i was already walking around.  i showered and settled in while J went with Kitten to get her vitals checked and get a bath. J and Kitten came back in and the last of our visitors left around midnight.  erin and jeff brought me some taco bueno which i ate like crazy because i hadn't had anything to eat since the 3:00 a.m. PB&J.  J and I watched tv and rested with the baby. totally serene.  like being in a small, oddly shaped hotel room with a twin-size bed.

i had to stay in the hospital that night and the next night as well because they had to make sure that the group-b strep didn't affect Kitten.  we were finally discharged on saturday evening and we came home.  i really didn't mind the extra night in the hospital because i got the benefit of an extra day of having a lactation consultant available to us to help us get the hang of breastfeeding, which made a big difference.  once we got home i honestly felt terrific.  i was a little tired and a little sore, but i felt NOTHING like the trainwreck i'd been expecting.

the end.