thing three

(post script - this is a colossally long post.  i apologize.  but once i started typing, my blood pressure went back up.)

as you all know, i looked long and hard to find a daycare at which i was comfortable leaving Kitten.  and for the last six months, it's been a blessing.  but recently the daycare has been undergoing some changes which affected Kitten's care in a way which rapidly rose to the level of unacceptable.

i firmly believe that finding a good daycare has nothing to do with the facility itself, or the toys, or the playground equipment, or how expensive it is, or how well-decorated.  and really, even the directors of the facility take a back seat to the most important thing: the teacher who is in the room with my daughter all day.

the original infant room teacher left the daycare about one month after Kitten started there.  i was upset about it.  the teacher who moved up into the lead teacher position, Miss J, was young and i was worried that she wouldn't be able to handle the chaos of an infant room.  

it took a few weeks, but Miss J really got things into shape.  i became very happy with the way the infant room was running.  Kitten became very bonded to Miss J, and it was apparent that she was getting really good care.  Miss J was there when i dropped Kitten off in the morning, and she was there when i picked her up.  continuity of care is so important for young children, so having the same teacher in the room all day was crucial to me.  Kitten was consistently happy, well fed, dry, and clean.  i could tell when i picked her up every day that things were going well - and Miss J and i got along perfectly.  Kitten was happy as a clam every single afternoon.

unfortunately, the daycare never put any real effort into finding a steady second teacher for the room to assist Miss J.  there were a couple of girls who were there part of the time that i really liked - and a couple more who i really didn't care for.

further, despite Miss J's efforts, there were some things about the infant room that really needed to be changed.  keep in mind this was a brand-new facility developing brand-new policies, so when "parent survey" time came around i sat down and took the time to write a long suggestion letter.  the letter resulted in a call from an attorney who worked for the off-site owner.  we had a very good and productive conversation--but none of the changes we discussed ever materialized.  for instance, i felt strongly that the infant room needed to adopt a "no shoes" policy, as it was the only facility i had ever visited that permitted shoes in the infant room.  daily sheets needed to be two-way so that parents filled out information in the morning, because i didn't feel like the information in my thirty-second verbal run-down (4oz bottle at 6am, don't give her any tylenol until after 9am, she had a fussy night and will need a longer nap, etc.) sufficiently made it to the caregivers.  stuff like that.  i even offered to have my sister (who is the infant teacher/director extraordinaire with a degree in early childhood education and all the certifications you could ask for) come in and consult for a day or two for FREE.  they wanted to - but never followed through.

Miss J was so great, though, that i got over it, even though i remained a little annoyed.

then, two weeks ago, Miss J was out for two days in a row.  the first day i did not recognize any of the women in the infant room when i dropped off Kitten, and when i picked her up i could tell that she was out of sorts.

the second day i again did not recognize any of the women in the infant room, and i swear to god something inside me told me to not leave her.  i ignored it but promised to pick her up extra early.  

when i got there at 3:00 p.m., i walked into the room to see her standing on the floor with her pacifier (she is not permitted to have a pacifier except at naptime), holding onto a chair, red-faced and distraught.  the room was complete chaos, an utter mess, babies crying everywhere.  i picked her up feeling like a HORRIBLE mother for having left her.  i walked across the room and picked her blanket up from the floor (why was it there?) and put it in her crib, which is next to her cubby.  i looked in her cubby and realized that BOTH of her bottles were completely dry - she had not been given a bottle ALL DAY.  i picked up her daily sheet and she had NO BOTTLES and NO DIAPER CHANGES written down for the ENTIRE DAY.  her diaper was soaked.  she was traumatized. i was LIVID.

one of the secondary teachers that i like, Miss K, had just come into the room after getting out of class (she's in college) and she was frantically running around the room doing damage control while the two strange women kind of lurked around not doing anything productive.  Miss K apologized profusely, but i know it wasn't her fault--she'd barely walked through the door herself.  Miss K told me that the strange women reported that Kitten was crying all day, every time they'd set her down.

PERHAPS BECAUSE SHE WAS STARVING, YOU DOLTS????

i left the daycare and took Kitten straight home.  she was hysterical by the time we pulled into the driveway.  she took a giant bottle, a container of bananas, and a double-size bowl of oatmeal before she would calm down.  i cried.

and then i called the director.  of course she apologized and promised to go to the infant room right away and straighten it out, but i didn't feel any better.  i cuddled with Kitten all evening, even after she was fed and happy and was squirming to be out of my arms.

i vowed that the next day, if Miss J wasn't back, i wasn't leaving Kitten there - and thank GOD she was.  we had a LONG talk and Kitten was super happy to see her teacher.  

that afternoon Miss J and i had another long talk, and she confided that she was putting in her notice that day because the administration was too chaotic and she couldn't get them to support her or to hire any consistent assistance for her.

AHHHHHH.

so i put in my notice, too, and made immediate arrangements for Kitten to start attending a home daycare in the fall, and to stay with my sister for the rest of the summer.

and THEN, the next day, the off-site director called me and begged me to reconsider.  apparently they had already decided to terminate the on-site directors and are planning huge changes to the center, but these things hadn't been made public to the employees or parents yet.

i feel badly because i am invested in this center, and i wanted to see it grow and succeed.  as ya'll know, i spent a TON of time choosing the center that felt right for Kitten.  and there are still many teachers there who i trust greatly - but unfortunately, none of them are in the infant room full-time.

what's more, Princess is attending summer camp there, to great success. she is happy with her teachers and has had wonderful consistency of care (like i said--it's all about the teachers in the room).

i spoke at length with the off-site attorney, and wavered for a few days.  ultimately i decided to go ahead and keep Kitten out of the center, for now.  she will continue with my sister for the rest of the summer, and Princess will continue in their summer camp as long as she's happy.  

and in the fall, i have promised to come back to the center to meet the new director and new infant teacher and see what changes they've made, and reconsider Kitten's placement.  it's entirely possible that the new staff will be wonderful - but i won't allow Kitten to be a guinea pig in the midst of all that change.

not to mention that i had to put down a $400 deposit at the home daycare toward Kitten's fall enrollment.  the home daycare is the same center that i originally almost placed Kitten in, but i didn't at the time because the home daycare closes at 5:00 p.m. sharp and i was worried that would be problematic - but now i know it's workable.  the home daycare has a WONDERFUL curriculum and is terribly organized and creative.  the woman has one employee and keeps mostly teacher's kids, which is why she closes so early.  it's clear that she's put a huge amount of time and effort into developing her program over the last 30 years.  she keeps only children up to 5 years old, and funnels them directly into the local pre-k program.  it's much more of a tiny little private school than a daycare, and i have high hopes that it will work for us.

but who knows? the risk of a home daycare is, of course, that there is only one person in charge, and if you and that one person don't get along, there's no one else to go to.  and the woman does seem quite, ahem, assertive--but i'm never going to fault a woman for that!

wish us luck.