so...

...i took it pretty easy all weekend, but i've been wiped out.  i can tell that my blood pressure is elevated - it's a weird sensation.  my blood pressure is usually pretty low - think 110/60 or lower.  last wednesday it was 130/90.  monday it was 140/90.  i go back on thursday morning.  if it keeps going up, the doctor will put me on official bed rest - which he hasn't done yet, much to my annoyance.  

right now what i'm having can be described as "gestational hypertension," or high blood pressure during pregnancy.  it's not actual preeclampsia yet.  preeclampsia is diagnosed with a trifecta of factors: (1) water retention, especially in the hands and face (mine is pretty much restricted to my lower legs); (2) elevated blood pressure (which is measured not objectively, but subjectively based upon what's normal for that woman.  my blood pressure won't be in the "danger" zone until it gets closer to 150, although 140 is certainly high); and (3) protein in the urine (so far i've only had trace amounts).

so i'm still in that grey zone.  i'm okay to work easy days as long as i stay down all evening, but frankly i feel like crap and my mental acumen is fogged by fatigue so frankly it's best i'm not working full-time anyway.  even when i'm there i'm not billing much because i'm thinking so slowly and trying so hard not to make mistakes that would normally not even be an issue.  

i told my boss that i'm supposed to be working half-days.  she asked for a doctor's note.  and then she gave me fifteen projects to do.  i can't tell you how annoyed i am by that.  do they think i'm injecting saline into my ankles before work every morning?  i had already told her that if they wanted to consider this a hybrid maternity leave that was fine, and that i wasn't expecting them to give me additional paid time off, but that there is no way i'm making my hours this month.  so now i have to ask my doctor to write me a note when i go in on thursday, just like i'm in middle school.  *highly, highly annoyed*

J is in dallas for a conference yesterday, today, and tomorrow.  he'll be back tomorrow evening, and i'm glad.  normally i don't mind being home alone at all - after all, i lived alone a lot after high school, and i liked it, so him being gone for a few days here and there is a nice respite, and distance lends enchantment to the view, and et cetera, et cetera.  but today my head is really hurting (another hallmark of preeclampsia) (and i just used a passive verb phrase, good grief) and i really am just ready for him to be back, and i just said "really" twice in one sentence - see how much i'm slipping???  ug!  i feel so mentally DULL and it is completely maddening, i can't even tell you how frustrated i am.

i'm 34 weeks now, and i'll be full-term at the end of 36 weeks, as i've mentioned oh approximately fifty trillion times in the last two months.  i want her to have the full benefit of being in utero as long as she needs, but an induction is pretty darn appealing right now.  which makes me sad, since i was SO anti-induction just a few weeks ago.  

but man.  i'm beat.  oh, and it's 9:30 p.m. and my boss just called and asked me to do a hearing for her tomorrow.  WHY.