jeebus.

not as in homer simpson.  as in "gbs."  group b strep.  which i'm sure you know nothing about unless you've been pregnant in the last ten years since they started testing for it.

anyhoo, gbs is a harmless bacteria that people carry from time to time.  it comes and goes and causes no symptoms in healthy adults, but it can be passed to an infant during delivery so they test expectant mothers for it toward the end of their pregnancies to see if they're carriers at that time.

well, guess what.  i tested positive.  yay freaking hooray.  this means i get to be on antibiotics until the baby's born.  

i love antibiotics.  i think they are really great and i take them as often as possible because i think they're useful for all sorts of things, like allergies and the common cold.  i keep half-full bottles of them in my medicine cabinet and every time i'm feeling under the weather i'll take them for a day or two and they make everything go away because they're Magic Pills.  and who cares about superbugs because as long as *i'm* feeling better then the rest of humanity really doesn't matter, it's not like one person is going to make that big of a difference.  so taking penicillin four times a day for the next month is just peachy with me.

now re-read that last paragraph out loud with biting sarcasm while rolling your eyes.

i am incredibly annoyed.  i picked up my prescription and then went straight to whole foods and got a great big jar of plain acidophilus yogurt.

but wait!  there's more!  what's worse than what seems to be this incredible amount of oral antibiotics? now, when i go into labor, they have to hook me up to an IV and give me MORE antibiotics intravenously.  i had hoped to labor as long as possible at home before going to the hospital, and i also wanted to avoid an IV until it was time for my epidural, but now none of that is going to be possible.  once i go into labor, i have to be on the IV.  and once my water breaks, the clock starts ticking, and i will have a limited amount of time to progress before they whisk me off to be sectioned.

my morale is low.  i am eleventeen months pregnant and i had three separate strangers comment today on how enormous i am and this baby seems quite content to stick around for another three or four weeks at least.  CONTRACTIONS CAN I HAVE SOME PLEASE KTHXBAI. 

my muscles are tired of carrying around all this extra weight and the hormones are causing my bones to shift, and it hurts.  no one told me how sore i'd be.

it is a major ordeal to get out of bed each of the thirty-four times a night that i have to get up.

i groan.  a lot.

and whine.

poor J.

that's all.